Damaged Youth

I will carry on with grace, zero tears on my face

Posts tagged personal

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Today has been the worst day.

It’s been three years. Three years since you died. Three years since your fragile heart stopped beating. Three years since my own heart broke. It’s been three years of misery. Three fucking years.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’d do anything to have you back. I’d have died that day instead of you if it meant you’d still be here. I miss you so much and I hope you know that. When you left, you took a piece of me with you and I haven’t recovered that yet and I’m starting to think that I never will.

I miss you and I love you more than ever. Here’s to you kid, I’ll be seeing you soon.

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Would you be proud of me? Would you be proud of the person that I am today? I’m a shell of what I used to be and I fucking despise myself for letting it happen. I’ve been used, abused, walked on, chewed up and spit out and I’ve let it happen. I’ve done nothing to stop it. It’s still happening.

I miss you so much. I could always stand up for myself but sometimes I just needed someone to lean on, I needed someone to protect me and you were always that person. Without you I’ve just let things fall apart and now everything is a mess and I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know what to do.

I miss you so much. Please come back. Please let this be a horrible nightmare that I’ll wake up from soon. Please.

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5 years down the line and this is still so relevant. We don’t even speak anymore and it’s still relevant. You were my best friend, and you totally changed my perspective on everything. You’ll always have a little piece of me 💕 #personal

5 years down the line and this is still so relevant. We don’t even speak anymore and it’s still relevant. You were my best friend, and you totally changed my perspective on everything. You’ll always have a little piece of me 💕 #personal

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Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on a couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish fucked up brats that you’ve spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life.
Trainspotting

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I’m speaking to Alistair and he’s being so nice and it just makes me miss him. I might ask him to go for a walk with me tomorrow so I can talk to him a bit more. We haven’t probably spoken in over a year, a proper chat is well overdue. He’s not all bad. We definitely work a lot better as friends, that’s for sure.

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I had an amazing night tonight with the greatest people ever. Sarah and Lizy met Claire for the first time and they all got on so well.

I’m slightly drunk and this is cheesy as fuck, but I am so lucky and so grateful to have such lovely people in my life. I’d seriously be lost without them

Filed under personal lizy claire sarah