Posts tagged personal
Posts tagged personal
I really like him, and he doesn’t seem to give a shit.
I’m speaking to Alistair and he’s being so nice and it just makes me miss him. I might ask him to go for a walk with me tomorrow so I can talk to him a bit more. We haven’t probably spoken in over a year, a proper chat is well overdue. He’s not all bad. We definitely work a lot better as friends, that’s for sure.
I had an amazing night tonight with the greatest people ever. Sarah and Lizy met Claire for the first time and they all got on so well.
I’m slightly drunk and this is cheesy as fuck, but I am so lucky and so grateful to have such lovely people in my life. I’d seriously be lost without them
It’s getting really bad again. I think this will be the worst one yet.
I’m so angry that all I want to do is cry. Back to being an emotionless bitch, I guess.
I really need to stop being such a stone cold bitch. I need to learn that if you let people get close to you then they will hurt you, and that that isn’t a good enough reason to stop people getting close to you. I’m lonely, and miserable in being so lonely. I’ve tried to convince myself that I’m happy being like this and that it’s a good way to go through life but it isn’t, it really isn’t.
I’m trying to work on being a nice person, and just being a better person in general but it’s incredibly difficult because it’s so far from what I know.
Time to go out for some birthday celebrations with my bestest friend. I haven’t seen her in over a week and that’s just far too long, in my opinion. Big hugs, lots of gossip and some alcohol is definitely in order!
I honestly love this girl with all my heart. She is so amazing and kind and caring and I truly could not ask for a better best friend. She’s always there for me and she listens to me when I’m upset or angry, she laughs at my jokes and reassures me when I doubt myself. I would be so lost without her and I am incredibly grateful to have her in my life.
So…last night was a bit of a disaster. Lee’s ex girlfriend asked if she could join us because her friends ditched her. He asked me if it was okay and I said yeah because I felt bad for her and because she said that she would be civil towards me. She said about 7 words to me in the space of 4 hours, gave me dirty looks constantly and was always trying to speak to and dance with Lee.
I ended up having an anxiety attack and I had to sit outside in the freezing cold at 11.15pm so that I could call Mandy because I genuinely felt like I was about to burst into tears.
When I dislike someone, I make it known. Having to hold my tongue makes me feel very uncomfortable and I don’t like it. Especially when she’s rubbing all of this in my face.
I stayed with Lee and that was nice, I got to sit in bed and talk to him this morning but everything from last night kept going through my head.
Long story short - I kinda wish I hadn’t went out, and I don’t think I’ll be going out for new year again.