Damaged Youth

About the author

Personal | Myself | Video
Before you get too involved, I will warn you: I’m a fucking mess. I wish I lived in Wonderland. I wish I could wear fancy jewellery and pretty shoes all of the time. I’m in love with the Olsen twins, Clemence Poesy, Marilyn Manson & Lady Gaga. I want to go to France. I want to live there for a few years and converse with the locals in a horrendously awful French accent and a terrible knowledge of the French language. I love French accents and ‘phantasmagoria’ is my favourite word alongside ‘valentine’. I want to collect glossy magazines and make high fashion collages. I like way glossy magazines feel and I like the way books smell. I love people who speak in a “flowery” manner and who use pet names far too often in casual conversation. “Sweetie”, “cutie” and “pumpkin” are 3 of my favourites. I have the social skills of Wednesday Addams and I quite like it that way; I don’t really like getting close to people because I get extremely attached to things very easily and I find it almost impossible to move on. It only results in pain. I'm a very anxious, nervous and paranoid person and I cry far too much. My mouth tends to give away my mood and I hate my smile. Well, not so much my actual smile, but the way my face looks when I smile. It’s odd thing to describe but I think it’s because I have chubby cheeks and weird eyes, they look Asian (my eyes, not my cheeks). I want to cover my body with tattoos. I want to dye my hair a crazy colour, just to say that I’ve done something that is somewhat rebellious in my life. I want to grow my hair down to my waist and spend hours playing with it and then skip around my house and pretend that I am Rapunzel. I want to have picnics in secret gardens, adventures in the forests, I want to take road trips in an old beat up car and get lost in a foreign place, even though I would be terrified. I want to drive down dark roads at night at a dangerous speed, just for the rush of it. I want to do a road trip around America and drive from one end of Route 66 to the other. I want to stop in every town and buy a souvenir. I want to go to a new town and speak in a ridiculous accent and use a ridiculous fake name, just for fun. I want to go to the mountains, the seaside, the countryside, the city, the desert, the rainforest and the Arctic. I want to live near a beach with white sand and crystal clear water. I want to travel the world and build up a collection of silly keepsakes for each place, like seashells and baseball caps and gum wrappers from a different country and pencil sharpeners and ticket stubs from movies and concerts and train journeys. I want to kiss in the rain. I want to be the little spoon. I want kisses on the end of my nose and cuddles when I’m sad. I want spontaneous hugs and sneaky kisses. I want sparkles, glitter, sequins, diamantes and shiny things. I want Japanese dolls and romantic names and pretty sounding words. I want beautiful music and meaningful lyrics. I want a collection of books on metaphysics, astrology, psychology and falling in love. I want poetry books. I want piles of books, hundreds upon hundreds lying around everywhere. I want poetry on my bedroom walls. I want fairy lights to light up my room, I want fluffy pillows and silk bed sheets, I want a comfy rug, pretty pictures, and inspirational quotes, lots of Polaroid pictures and a little bit of mess. I want to fall asleep with someone playing with my hair while whispering silly things that make me giggle. I want high heels, ripped tights, baggy tops, oversized jumpers and messy hair. I want to bite the crispy coating off of the Minstrels before eating them. I want the bag of popcorn to still have a few kernels left at the bottom. I want to eat in fancy restaurants and get a little bit too drunk in each of them. I want to walk with confidence and occasionally prance instead of walking, just to satisfy my inner child. I want lots and lots of flowers. I want roses and lilies and tulips and daisies everywhere. I want pretty notebooks tied up in a ribbon. I want to spend all day writing. I want to write until the words are incoherent to everyone else but precious to me. I want pretty words, soft words, regal words. I want to watch Alice in Wonderland and Anastasia until I know every line off by heart. I want to be able to quote books off of the top of my head in any kind of conversation. I want to laugh so hard that I end up crying. I want to cry so hard that I end up laughing. I want to be compassionate, considerate and calm and I want to make other people happy. I adore the feeling you get after someone tells you that you made them smile. I want to chase my dreams, find my purpose and be content with my life. I want to change the way people view the world. I want to climb trees, bruise my knees and rip my jeans and get my hands dirty. I want to lie in the long grass and read a book. I want to live by the sea and go swimming every morning. I want to sit alone in a peaceful garden, drinking tea and eating fancy cupcakes. I want teacups to be filled with glitter and cupcakes to be filled with inspiration. I want to be remembered for something worthwhile. I’m never where I am, I live inside my head and I’m sure that I would be enchanted to meet you.
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May 28, 2012

Having an internal debate over whether or not to sit in the garden and study. I don’t like being stuck inside but whenever I get too warm, I get crabby and start whinging.

I’d also need to put sun cream on and I hate the smell of it. Hmm.

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May 28, 2012

methylxanthines said: Good luck! You can do it! c:

Thank you! xo